The Blackstone Code - Episode Two

The story so far:  Padraig O’Riordan , Professor of Football Cryptography at the University of Liffey, has been summoned by Chief Inspector Freddie Flintoff to the National Football Museum.  The museum’s curator, Jack Salter, has been murdered, but not before mutilating himself in order to leave a cryptic clue … Now read on…

          Despite the severity of the situation, O’Riordan was still thinking about his alternative career as a pulp novelist.  What should his pen name be ?  He had thought of using his middle name, Daniel, and his mother’s maiden name, Brown.  But that had already been done.  What about his maternal grandmother’s maiden name, O’Donnell ?

          “Isn’t it a bit of a coincidence that this should happen whilst you are in Preston, Professor ?”  barked Flintoff, snapping O’Riordan out of his reverie.

          “I’m here for the snooker,” spluttered O’Riordan, feeling as if he was being accused.  “The Guild Hall is like a second home to Ronnie O’Sullivan, an honorary Irishman.”

          “Ah, snooker,” said a low female voice. “The rhythm of the perfect break: red, black, red, black …”  Though the voice was sweet and sexy, O’Riordan couldn’t help thinking of Chas And Dave’s ‘Snooker Loopy’ ).  Seemingly unnoticed a woman in her mid-twenties, nearly six feet tall, slim with burgundy hair, had entered the room.

          “This is one of Lancashire Constabulary’s own cryptographer’s, Tara Farmer-Palmer,” said Detective Sergeant Jeremiah  Fuzzyduck.  The writer in O’Riordan thought it was good that Fuzzyduck had introduced the new character, otherwise he wouldn’t appear in this episode and would be forgotten.

          “I don’t remember asking for any cryptographic assistance other than Professor O’Riordan,” snapped Flintoff.

          “As this case involves a coded message,” said Farmer-Palmer. “I was called in as a matter of course.  What was the message exactly ?”

          “Blame sick token.  Now sob, true fish-face,” replied Flintoff.

          “I know you don’t want me here, Inspector,” said Farmer-Palmer. “But that was totally uncalled for.”

          “No, that was the message,” clarified O’Riordan.

          “Totally incomprehensible,” added Flintoff.

          “I’d guess you don’t do many crosswords, Inspector,” joked O’Riordan.

          “No.  Too much paperwork.  That’s the problem with policing today,”  Flintoff responded, totally missing O’Riordan’s attempt at humour.

          “What we should be asking is why Jack Salter chose to write 32 letters in his own blood to leave this message when his killer’s name would have been considerably shorter,” remarked Farmer-Palmer.

          “Assuming his killer was known to him…” interjected Flintoff.

          “.. and not a Sri Lankan cricketer,” quipped O’Riordan.

          “I have to leave now,” Farmer-Palmer said suddenly. “Should you wish to contact me, Professor O’Riordan, here is my card.”  She pressed a calling card into his hand and then disappeared as unnoticed as she had entered.

          O’Riordan looked at the card.  There was no address or phone number on it, only in capital letters the words “YOU ARE IN DANGER. LEAVE NOW.”  You have to admire the subtlety of it, thought O’Riordan.

          O’Riordan looked at  Flintoff.  “Do you mind if I go back to the hotel to collect my stuff ?”

          “Everything you need is here, Professor,” replied Flintoff, gesturing roughly in the direction of the Incident Room that had been set up. “I’ll get one of my officers to collect your belongings and bring them here to our scene of crime base.”

          “Erm, well, um …” stuttered O’Riordan, trying to think quickly. “Do you mind if I have a toilet break ?”

          O’Riordan was directed to the toilets near the café.  Inside he filled a basin with water.  His mind was racing. Murder ? Suspicion ? Danger ? How has a short break in the North West of England come to this ?  He bent over the basin and splashed his face with water.  As he straightened up, he noticed in the mirror, as always happens in Hollywood movies, that someone was standing behind him.

          “Did I say ‘candyman’ five times ?” joshed O’Riordan. “What makes you think I’m in danger ?”

          Tara Farmer-Palmer (for it is she) replied “Inspector Flintoff is very old-fashioned.  You are his chief suspect. The fact that you clearly know what the message means, when he doesn’t, is no help. He has placed a tracking device in your coat.”

          “So why won’t he let me leave ?” said O’Riordan, although he had been born in rural Ireland he had a soft spot for posh English totty.  For reasons that he found unfathomable, but would take hundreds of words to explain, he trusted her implicitly, despite her uncanny ability to move about almost unseen.

          “As the Animals once sang,” said Farmer-Palmer. “We gotta get out of this place.”

          He was impressed by the young woman’s knowledge of 1960s popular music and couldn’t help agreeing with her.

To be continued…